falcongrrl: (Default)
Sitting at the computer makes it easier to answer questions like "What is a career grand slam in golf?", "Do gorillas have just one alpha male or are there other males in a pack?" and "What would happen to your tongue if you put your tongue on a shotgun shell?"

In other words, it makes parenting Daniel easier. Not easy, mind, just easier.
falcongrrl: (Default)
Daniel, upon realizing that each year he has more girls in his class to give valentines to than boys:

"It's unfortunate for the male population that the female population is pretty much expanding. And once the female gender realizes this, they're going to start coming together and taking over the planet for themselves. Like women used to do all the chores, but now they started doing a little less because medieval times is over. But once they figure out that they have superior numbers, they're going to run the men around like slaves. They're going to start basically a new medieval time except it'll be a flipflop of genders."
falcongrrl: (Default)
Daniel: I've decided that we're not playing pirates anymore. We're treasurists.

Me: Treasurists? What's the difference?

Daniel: Well, we're not really focused on being the 'terror of the High Seas,' you know, all that stuff. We're just looking for treasure. And we don't talk funny. Instead of saying, "Aye, mateys, we be headin' full speed ahead," we just say, "Full speed ahead," that sort of thing.

Me: Do we carry swords?

Daniel: Yes.

Me: Why?

Daniel: Well, the treasure that we're looking for probably isn't unguarded.
falcongrrl: (Default)
This from Daniel to Ellie (overheard):

"Mommy loves both of us as much as if we were here in Florida and we went all the way around the world and came back to Florida."

And you know, he's right. Plus a whole lot more than that. ♥
falcongrrl: (surprised)
My child found a black spider yesterday on some fence pieces Dave bought from Home Depot to create some more privacy in our backyard. I was attending a baby shower with Ellie, and Dave and Daniel were working on a home improvement project together. Dave intutively told Daniel not to touch the spider, and he didn't. But he did guide it into a container and put a lid on it.

You know what's coming, don't you?

Yes, we are now the proud captors of a female black widow spider. The little red hourglass is pretty unmistakable.

Umm...Anyone, local or otherwise, have any ideas on what we should do with the thing? Daniel, using our own words back at us, doesn't want to kill it because it's a living creature and a part of Mother Nature. We are concerned about releasing it upon an unsuspecting public. We could take it out into the woods, but still...it feels creepy. Maybe call the science center? Dave and I were kind of hoping it'd be dead this morning, but it's not.

So. Yeah. I'm 35 years old, and this is the first black widow I've ever seen, other than on TV or in pictures. My son is eight, and he manages to catch one of the f***ers.

I don't know how I'm ever going to survive this parenting gig. Too scary. The lid is on really tight, and even though I generally like spiders, I'm giving that thing a wide berth.
falcongrrl: (Default)
okay, so this is probably too Family Circus, but I couldn't resist keeping this for posterity:

muddy on a vine
make a big noise
stray in the streets
gonna be a big ram someday
in your face
a big disgrace
dadadada
all over the place
falcongrrl: (surprised)
Daniel is making...something. Either a CCG or a new MonsterManual, I'm not sure. This is all him - I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. :-)

Read more... )
falcongrrl: (Default)
Daniel's having one of his turns again. Wild rages, wild laughter, wild behavior. This is after a week of being mean to his sister and generally pessimistic about everything.

I'm not disabling comments - I don't mind them - but this is more for tracking than anything else. I really need to keep better records about these mood swings. I'm thinking we need to at least see the pediatrician and possibly a child psychiatrist. Given my own mental health issues as well as my family history, it's not unreasonable to think that he could be depressive or bipolar...although I thought that onset in children is rare. Still, this seems an emotional reaction beyond normal for his age group. I thought we were doing better, I really did.

He freaked out completely - tears, screaming, a full blown tantrum that would put any two-year-old to shame...over having to turn off the TV to pick up Dave (we're down to one car - long story). So he's (and we're) officially TV-free (and movie-free) for the weekend; we'll see if that helps.

I'm so tired.
falcongrrl: (Default)
Daniel said he didn't like onions, and I was trying to figure out what exactly he didn't like about them.

"They're just intense," he said.

"What does intense mean, exactly?" I said.

"Intense means there's a feeling pushing hard against the whole place."

He understands it better than I thought. Not that that should be any surprise, really.
falcongrrl: (Default)
Daniel, pre-breakfast-making: Do you want to turn into a serpent?

Me: *boggle* Umm...why do you ask?

Daniel: Because there's this potion that I made that can turn you into a serpent.

(pause)

Now, you'll have an extra head, but don't worry, eventually you'll have just one head, and you'll be a serpent.

Me: Is the second head a serpent head, or a regular human head like mine?

Daniel: It's a serpent head. It's the head you need to become the serpent. Your first head will go away after you grow the second head, but that's normal. And if you see a gray pimple on your neck, that's just the second head growing in.

Me: How do I change back into a human?

Daniel: Just go up to the surface and you'll change back. Do you know where your gills will be? On your neck. If a human were to turn into a serpent, their gills would be on their neck.

I blame the fourth Harry Potter movie. Somehow.

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