(no subject)
I quit my job.
I kind of feel like a fuck-up, but I also feel more free.
More later, when I can talk about it more. In the end, it wasn't the kids, it wasn't the school, it wasn't anything...it was the sense of doom and dread I felt, the what have I done? endlessly circling my head, and the fact that I couldn't physically walk out the door without dry heaves and having to run back to the toilet.
People do it. I could have done it. I was, by all accounts, good at it. But I didn't want it.
There's a lesson here someplace, but I can't quite puzzle it out yet. Still, I'm grateful. Grateful for the right to make the choice, grateful for my little girl and being here with her.
I kind of feel like a fuck-up, but I also feel more free.
More later, when I can talk about it more. In the end, it wasn't the kids, it wasn't the school, it wasn't anything...it was the sense of doom and dread I felt, the what have I done? endlessly circling my head, and the fact that I couldn't physically walk out the door without dry heaves and having to run back to the toilet.
People do it. I could have done it. I was, by all accounts, good at it. But I didn't want it.
There's a lesson here someplace, but I can't quite puzzle it out yet. Still, I'm grateful. Grateful for the right to make the choice, grateful for my little girl and being here with her.