I probably didn't explain it well. I do the pouty thing too, and the please pet me thing. I think the running under the bed comes after that, if I don't get any takers. *wan grin*
What happened today (one of the things) is that a friend told me some unbelievably nice things yesterday. She wanted me to reciprocate by 'saying off the top of my head what I think of her.' I can't do that out loud, but i told her I would write her an email. So I wrote this very long, very rambling letter about that late last night, filled with how much I like her - and now it feels like she's backing away from me. She had asked me to go to the beach and now cancelled on that. I don't know if it's because of what I wrote or not.
I actually have thought about you a lot in connection with that. Kind of like, magnifelyn, how do we keep living with our hearts thrown wide open and survive it? How do we bare our souls to any and everyone, repeatedly, without feeling the fool? These are mostly-rhetorical questions, but in part it's what triggered the reaction.
That and our finances are teh suck here, and every time I think about it, i swear my heart starts palpitating. I know I need to face up to it, and make a plan, but I keep shying away from it.
I will try not to bark or bite. :-) That side of me comes out when I'm convinced that everyone will leave me or has already left. Proving me wrong, or just gently empathizing, usually helps.
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What happened today (one of the things) is that a friend told me some unbelievably nice things yesterday. She wanted me to reciprocate by 'saying off the top of my head what I think of her.' I can't do that out loud, but i told her I would write her an email. So I wrote this very long, very rambling letter about that late last night, filled with how much I like her - and now it feels like she's backing away from me. She had asked me to go to the beach and now cancelled on that. I don't know if it's because of what I wrote or not.
I actually have thought about you a lot in connection with that. Kind of like,
That and our finances are teh suck here, and every time I think about it, i swear my heart starts palpitating. I know I need to face up to it, and make a plan, but I keep shying away from it.
I will try not to bark or bite. :-) That side of me comes out when I'm convinced that everyone will leave me or has already left. Proving me wrong, or just gently empathizing, usually helps.