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Jan. 3rd, 2006 09:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
falcongrrlSome of you may remember when I posted the lyrics to Buck 65's "The Centaur," here .
Well, when a friend suggested writing something bawdy for NaPoeWriMo (specifically, a recounting of Maichirona's exploits), I started thinking about that song. There's an ex-wife mentioned briefly in the song, and I found myself wondering about what her response to the centaur would be.
The result? An extremely vulgar, bawdy, insulting little poem.
I'm posting it, because those of you who know the song may enjoy this different take on it. But please, please, please do not click on the cut if graphic language and misandry will offend you.
/disclaimer
Buck This, Centaur
Nobody is curious
So just keep your pants on;
Stop rappin 'bout what
You seem to think is gargantuan.
The easiest way would be
to find a magnifying glass.
Yeah, you're a man
with a dick that's too small for my ass.
People ain't afraid of you,
Chiron; you're a hermit
hangin' out in the forest
with that idiot Pan.
And I got plenty to say
if you're ready to listen
because your cock is so small
you need a thimble to piss in.
Yeah, you're famous for it,
'Tiny' is what everyone's name is for it.
Sure, I've heard the hype,
you said orgasmic for Christ's sake.
Yeah, I'm the ex-wife, make
your point and be done with it.
'Cause lying's your specialty
and you seem to have fun with it.
And you've gotten quite round as far as physiques go
Can't believe you drag that mound right onto a dance floor.
Folks try to have pictures taken
constantly assuming
they'll see a cock at some point
if their camera can zoom in.
Don't ask me silly questions, I'm not your personal mentor.
'Was it good for you, baby?' Maybe if it was in, sure.
The porno industry? Jesus, don't make me laugh.
You just want an excuse to get fucked up the ass.
So keep looking for true love, maybe this time you'll see it.
Gave you half of my life so you'd leave and give *me* shit.
Actin' like a horse's ass while I treated you like a person.
Yeah, bitch, don't tell me 'bout it gettin' worse 'n worse, 'cause
when sex became a problem, it was that you can't get it up,
or when you did, well, let's just say that you weren't quite my best fuck.
You don't care about my home needs
just your own deeds
with that thing that a dog calls a bone, see,
Nobody is curious
So just keep your pants on;
Stop rappin 'bout what
You seem to think is gargantuan.
The easiest way would be
to find a magnifying glass
Yeah, you're a man
with a dick that's too small for my ass.
Well, when a friend suggested writing something bawdy for NaPoeWriMo (specifically, a recounting of Maichirona's exploits), I started thinking about that song. There's an ex-wife mentioned briefly in the song, and I found myself wondering about what her response to the centaur would be.
The result? An extremely vulgar, bawdy, insulting little poem.
I'm posting it, because those of you who know the song may enjoy this different take on it. But please, please, please do not click on the cut if graphic language and misandry will offend you.
/disclaimer
Buck This, Centaur
Nobody is curious
So just keep your pants on;
Stop rappin 'bout what
You seem to think is gargantuan.
The easiest way would be
to find a magnifying glass.
Yeah, you're a man
with a dick that's too small for my ass.
People ain't afraid of you,
Chiron; you're a hermit
hangin' out in the forest
with that idiot Pan.
And I got plenty to say
if you're ready to listen
because your cock is so small
you need a thimble to piss in.
Yeah, you're famous for it,
'Tiny' is what everyone's name is for it.
Sure, I've heard the hype,
you said orgasmic for Christ's sake.
Yeah, I'm the ex-wife, make
your point and be done with it.
'Cause lying's your specialty
and you seem to have fun with it.
And you've gotten quite round as far as physiques go
Can't believe you drag that mound right onto a dance floor.
Folks try to have pictures taken
constantly assuming
they'll see a cock at some point
if their camera can zoom in.
Don't ask me silly questions, I'm not your personal mentor.
'Was it good for you, baby?' Maybe if it was in, sure.
The porno industry? Jesus, don't make me laugh.
You just want an excuse to get fucked up the ass.
So keep looking for true love, maybe this time you'll see it.
Gave you half of my life so you'd leave and give *me* shit.
Actin' like a horse's ass while I treated you like a person.
Yeah, bitch, don't tell me 'bout it gettin' worse 'n worse, 'cause
when sex became a problem, it was that you can't get it up,
or when you did, well, let's just say that you weren't quite my best fuck.
You don't care about my home needs
just your own deeds
with that thing that a dog calls a bone, see,
Nobody is curious
So just keep your pants on;
Stop rappin 'bout what
You seem to think is gargantuan.
The easiest way would be
to find a magnifying glass
Yeah, you're a man
with a dick that's too small for my ass.