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1. Strength - Strength was almost my 'word of the year' this year, though I ended up choosing Courage. Still, both concepts feel like aspects I'm currently working on. I'm learning to think of myself as a strong person. I'm working on having power over myself and my negative thoughts first and foremost. Though I'd also like to work on getting my physical body stronger too through exercise that I love. With my kids, I'd like to discipline from a place of inner strength and calm rather than being reactive.

2. Peregrine Falcon - "If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?" It was a bit of a silly yet profound question that [livejournal.com profile] birdbard asked me. "Peregrine falcon," was my answer. They were fast and cool in a medieval-fantasy sort of way and I liked the thought of being associated with them.

I couldn't have known at the time that the concept would find its way into a deep part of myself, inspiring an online character/alter ego and lots of further contemplation. The word peregrine itself originally meant wanderer, which fits...while I'm not wandering physically so much these days, my spirit/soul/heart/mind is always prone to it. Also, peregrine falcons (particularly females) are trained to hunt because they're both fierce and tractable...and these are both two traits I believe I have.

3. Beauty - This year I'm really working on seeing beauty in myself, aided by [livejournal.com profile] onceupon and the whole concept of fat acceptance. I was first introduced to the concept (and blogs) by [livejournal.com profile] epi_lj, and it's been life-changing. I'm working on shifting fat=ugly to fat=fat, and I can feel my thought patterns changing little by little and being happier (little by little) when I look in the mirror. It's exciting work.

4. Poetry - When I write, I want to find both beauty and honesty in everyday moments and convey that, hopefully help people to see some of the beauty in their own life. I'm constantly amazed by poetry's ability to convey ideas that prose just somehow can't. Thinking about this makes me want to read more poetry, and more widely within the genre. I have my favorites that I keep coming back to, but I'd also like to branch out a bit more. I'm fascinated by slam poetry too (though that's so late-nineties/early-2000s *grin*) and I'd like to expose myself to more of it, too.

5. Parent ;) - What a long, strange trip it's been? I have felt the shift in myself from relating to the world primarily as a child to relating primarily as a parent. And this doesn't mean solely with my children, though of course there is that. To me, parenting has opened me up to nurturing in all kinds of ways. I'd like to nurture the potential of each person I meet, and I tend to (though [livejournal.com profile] shaterri, [livejournal.com profile] sacredchao, and others remind me not to) nurture and parent other people's kids as well as my own, to the point of exhaustion. While I need to work on balance and not exchanging hedonism for martyrdom, overall I think it's a good shift, this breaking open of my heart. :-) The thing now is to nurture while keeping healthy boundaries...to nurture myself...and that's a challenge for me at this point, but I'll get there.


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July 2017

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