*LOL* Okay, feel a bit like I've stepped into an Eminem album, but this is actually pretty damn good! It's got good flow (I tried rapping it out myself). I think the only place I felt stumbled a bit was "Folks try to have pictures taken/constantly assuming/they'll see a cock at some point/if their camera can zoom in." I don't have any great suggestions on how to reword it at the moment, but maybe play with a bit?
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Date: 2006-01-03 06:45 pm (UTC)