yet another update

[falcongrrl]

Okay, I went to the doctor's office yesterday. She told me to increase the Zoloft to 150mg. She really thinks this is hormonal changes related to my cycle (I meant to ask about perimenopause (!), but forgot, I'll have to do that at the follow up), but she wants me to increase it daily for six weeks and then she'll see me again. Just because it was so bad this time. I agreed and told her that I had dipped low enough to scare myself. I told her about the passively suicidal sorts of thoughts, and that seemed to be something she'd heard before from other depressed folks and wasn't shocked by, so that was good. She also wants me to take 100mg of vitamin B6 daily to help w/anxiety. So I'm doing that, in addition to my multivitamin and my flax/primrose oil supplement. Also trying to eat a bit better.

I'm curious, for the biological females on my fl, and for those of you of a certain age...did you notice your cycle changing in your 30s? Did you suddenly become, umm, batshit crazy before your period when you were in your 30s? Inquiring minds and all that.

To the males on my list, I apologize if I should have hidden references to my menses behind a cut. I don't want to offend anyone. At the same time, I just can't seem to bring myself to be all Victorian about it, when I see it as basic biology.

Anyway. This is what's up w/me.

(Edit: leave it to gleefulfreak to hijack the thread and turn it into a conversation about oral sex. Not that I mind, of course... :-D )

Comments

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

No, I've never had PMS or any other emotional issues with my period.
I do, on the other hand, have serious physical stuff - bleeding like a stuck pig (I have to wear plastic pants) for seven days, occasionally two periods a month, cramps of various intensities, sweating, loss of energy and generally feeling very crappy. Post period I get very weak and prone to illness. But yeah, no emotional stuff. Never have and that hasn't changed.

My mother, on the other hand, never had any physical stuff, could use a cotton ball for the small amount of bleeding she'd get, yet she went completely and utterly insane regularly. And after she got to her mid 40s (she didn't have menopause until she was in her 50s) she went so fucking nuts she hospitalised my father twice, and I was sent to another country to get away from her. I was 6, at the time, late baby.

So yeah, early peri pause looniness seems pretty common. Actually, I think my sister got a mix of both... bled solidly for five years AND went nuts. Poor woman.

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid I still really haven't had a normal cycle since Rhys was born. I have some vague sorts of light bleeding about every 45 days or so. It's probably just the combo of nursing and the minipill, but sometimes I wonder if I just snuck into an early menopause right after teh birth somehow. Tht would make me really sad if it were true.

*big hugs*

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

I had no cycle at all until I completely weaned Elizabeth, though we'd been down to one nursing session per day for nearly two months at that point. Most likely, it'll come back when you wean completely.

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

Are there really men who are uncomfortable with this level of disclosure about menstrual cycles?

[monkeyman.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've had experience with that, too -- they aren't really as surprised by passing suicidal thoughts when you're depressed as if you're dwelling on them.

As for your cycle changing, I'm afraid I can't help with that one.

[gleefulfreak.livejournal.com]

Let me put it this way. I had a boyfriend in university who was so squeamish about girlybits (but I swear he's not secretly gay) that he referred to pads and diapers in the same breath as "blue-liquid commercials". He felt badly for me if I was crampy, but no details please!

(Dude didn't go down either.)

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

Wow. I mean, it's a regular bodily function. I can't see why someone would have any more trouble with pads than they would have with kleenex. I mean, there are certainly things that could be said about menstrual cycles that would make me think, "Did I really need to hear that?", but they are probably much like things I don't really need to hear about any other bodily process, unisex or not.

(On the, "Dude didn't go down either," front, one part of me wants to say, "Wow, was he missing out," but then, it's a preference like any other, I suppose. There's a strong cultural idea among liberal society (which is to say, nearly everybody I socialize with, but while recognizing that it might not be true of the wider culture) that straight men who don't perform oral sex on women are somehow broken, yet straight women who don't perform oral sex on men are exercising their rights as empowered individuals. This seems unfair: I don't really think anybody should be berated or considered broken for not wanting to engage in a sexual practice. On the other hand, what *does* become a problem, of course, is where there's no balance -- where someone expects all kinds of sexual considerations from the other but is unwilling to provide things in return. So while I don't personally grok guys who don't like performing oral sex, I support their right to have that position so long as they're willing to make up for it in other ways. </pointless-rambling>)

[gleefulfreak.livejournal.com]

[threadjack] He didn't want reciprocation either, so I suppose it was fair in its way. He just didn't really grok the whole oral sex deal. Fortunately I'm with someone a whole lot more compatible now.[/threadjack]

And yes, there is such a thing as TMI - which is something I exploit for the gross-out factor every now and then whether it's menses or boogers. But that's not the same as "oh noes, don't talk about periods, that's GROSS!"

For that matter I'd like to thwap women who come up with cutesy names ("Aunt Flo", "the cardinal", etc) for stuff like this because they can't bring themselves to say the real words.

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't know, I thought Red Ninja was pretty inspired. :-)

People who don't like oral sex--both giving and receiving--are just weird. *grin*

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

I think it has to go both ways. I think that women who won't give head are missing out, as are men who won't, as are those of any gender who won't receive...

But then, I'm a fan. *blush*

And yes, all *that* may definitely have been tmi.

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

On my friendlist, probably not, no. In my family or in my circle of real life friends/acquaintances, most definitely.

But then, I'm from a pretty conservative part of Florida, so make of that what you will.

Also, quite a few guys on my fl are gay or bi--and while the majority of people, straight or queer, who are friends with me are more curious than squicked by such things, fortunately--I've heard stories of guys who just really didn't want to know anything about it. A friend's partner was that way.

Honestly, I should probably just post behind a cut.

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

*hehe* I'm difficult to TMI. I also like verbing nouns and noun phrases.

I'm a fan as well, believe me, but I think about it in terms of analogies to things I'm not a fan of (of which there are plenty). It doesn't feel like "missing out" if you're glad of the reprieve.

[gleefulfreak.livejournal.com]

See, I think Red Ninja is great because it isn't cutesy (and all the women I know who use it wouldn't hesitate to use blunter terms). :D

And yes, I agree, weird! In not good ways. I was scarred for years by his lack of interest. :(

[playfuleye.livejournal.com]

I tend to put it as "Stay away from me, I'm bleeding."

I'd say that's blunt enough. :D

[gleefulfreak.livejournal.com]

For me it's not "Stay away from me, I'm bleeding" so much as "Feel sorry for me, I am crampy and miserable and want to be coddled." :D

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

Yep, that's me, too. (the gleefulfreak response)

[gleefulfreak.livejournal.com]

Be glad you don't have a robotmonster, though, because his response to that is usually to mock. His rationale is that by the time I'm feeling energetic enough to kick his ass again, I've forgotten about it.

[wapsi.livejournal.com]

I have pretty much always wigged out emotionally right before my period. I've been having them for 30 years now. I can recall sometimes believing I could feel the hormone levels dropping as my mood sank. Taking 3000 mg of evening primrose oil per day is a great help. So is eating dark chocolate and having alone time.

I also find that when my period arrives, I need some time to just bleed. It feels like work that I have to be at least somewhat attentive to, and if I don't, I get cranky and start to hurt. I squat and stretch and breathe, all of which help ease the flow.

[ladymerri.livejournal.com]

See, I LOVE recieving (as long as we're not talking a couple of the idiot guys I dated who thought SLOBBERING was all they needed to do. Bleck.) but I almost never give. But it's not that I dislike it or don't want to, honestly...it's a physical problem of a small jaw that HURTS LIKE HELL if I keep it open for something bigger than a skinny carrot for more than a minute. Makes the whole thing rather difficult and uncomfortable. :(

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

There's always licking and kissing...

[rowyn]

I think this was fine without a cut.

I've never had an emotional reaction to my period, but the only times I've ever had a regular cycle are when I was on the birth control pill. On my "natural" cycle I'll menstruate maybe once or twice a year. Sometimes not even that often. It's just as well that I don't want children because -- given that -- I doubt I'm fertile. At best, I'm not ovulating very often.

So not a good typical example.

I do get physical symptoms of PMS -- usually diarrhea. And I'll often get cramps. Frankly, I think the whole thing is a big pain and I'm just as happy not to be subjected to it on a monthly basis. =)