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Inner and Outer States
May. 19th, 2004 10:23 amFeeling better this Wednesday morning, finally getting around to copying some of my .mp3s to cd so i can listen to them places other than the computer. Which means I'm also listening to some pretty cool music during the whole process. :-)
Today after I take my son to preschool and work there for a little while, we're leaving early and going to visit one of my best friends and her little girl. After a little while at their house (where I hope to get my two back to looking presentable, as preschool usually leaves them covered in dirt from head to toe, even if all the other children still look relatively clean, lol), we're going to the daughter's Tae Kwon Do class.
My son is completely psyched, though I'm afraid he's expecting to do some freeform sparring right out of the gate. :-O I've been talking to him quite a bit, explaining that he'll be learning different techniques, that it's practice and repetition, that he doesn't get to wrestle and play rough, that kind of thing. But I think that the atmosphere itself along with his friend's compliance will help him to do fine. I'm excited because if it goes well I may sign him up for a program, and I think it could potentially be extremely good for him. He needs the discipline, and a positive outlet for his aggression, I think.
Not sure what we'll do after that. D's working late tonight, so we'll play it by ear.
I'm just glad we're finally all healthy, at least for the moment. Saw my therapist yesterday, and he was like, "you were in the house, alone, with sick kids for days on end...everybody feels a little crazy under those circumstances." I don't know if he's right, but it did make me feel a little better. :-P
One thought I had while driving there was "What is the difference between acceptance and denial?" If I say, "Everything is just fine," is that acceptance of all that is, and healthy, OR a denial of all that's wrong, and therefore unhealthy?
Typical shrink style, he didn't have a direct answer for me, but I'm still pondering it. I think I'm going to ask the preschool teacher, she 12-steps, and may have additional insights into it. Denial and acceptance are pretty key parts of that program, I think...so perhaps she'll know how to distinguish between the two. Or perhaps we all don't and it's just figure-it-out-as-you-go, for everybody.
One thing my therapist says (in the kindest way) is that perhaps I overanalyze everything too much, and he's right about that. I wonder if I had more outlets for intellectual expression if that would help, or if that's just an excuse I'm using right now. Or maybe it's just a basic part of my personality. I mean, I can find huge amounts of significance in an episode of Dora the Explorer. That's kinda scary, lol.
Been thinking a lot about grad school lately. Not sure where I would go or what I would do, but leaning towards either divinity (UU minister) or psychology, with add'l thoughts about an MFA in writing, though the thing about writing is that I can always do it, I don't really have to take classes for it, unless I just want to.
But I'm feeling like there is a future now, not more of this aimless drifting, and I think that's a good thing.
Well, this is probably more introspective than anyone wants to read, but tough, lol. If you've come this far, then it's just too late, and too bad for you. ;-)
Just kidding. Sort of.
A+
Today after I take my son to preschool and work there for a little while, we're leaving early and going to visit one of my best friends and her little girl. After a little while at their house (where I hope to get my two back to looking presentable, as preschool usually leaves them covered in dirt from head to toe, even if all the other children still look relatively clean, lol), we're going to the daughter's Tae Kwon Do class.
My son is completely psyched, though I'm afraid he's expecting to do some freeform sparring right out of the gate. :-O I've been talking to him quite a bit, explaining that he'll be learning different techniques, that it's practice and repetition, that he doesn't get to wrestle and play rough, that kind of thing. But I think that the atmosphere itself along with his friend's compliance will help him to do fine. I'm excited because if it goes well I may sign him up for a program, and I think it could potentially be extremely good for him. He needs the discipline, and a positive outlet for his aggression, I think.
Not sure what we'll do after that. D's working late tonight, so we'll play it by ear.
I'm just glad we're finally all healthy, at least for the moment. Saw my therapist yesterday, and he was like, "you were in the house, alone, with sick kids for days on end...everybody feels a little crazy under those circumstances." I don't know if he's right, but it did make me feel a little better. :-P
One thought I had while driving there was "What is the difference between acceptance and denial?" If I say, "Everything is just fine," is that acceptance of all that is, and healthy, OR a denial of all that's wrong, and therefore unhealthy?
Typical shrink style, he didn't have a direct answer for me, but I'm still pondering it. I think I'm going to ask the preschool teacher, she 12-steps, and may have additional insights into it. Denial and acceptance are pretty key parts of that program, I think...so perhaps she'll know how to distinguish between the two. Or perhaps we all don't and it's just figure-it-out-as-you-go, for everybody.
One thing my therapist says (in the kindest way) is that perhaps I overanalyze everything too much, and he's right about that. I wonder if I had more outlets for intellectual expression if that would help, or if that's just an excuse I'm using right now. Or maybe it's just a basic part of my personality. I mean, I can find huge amounts of significance in an episode of Dora the Explorer. That's kinda scary, lol.
Been thinking a lot about grad school lately. Not sure where I would go or what I would do, but leaning towards either divinity (UU minister) or psychology, with add'l thoughts about an MFA in writing, though the thing about writing is that I can always do it, I don't really have to take classes for it, unless I just want to.
But I'm feeling like there is a future now, not more of this aimless drifting, and I think that's a good thing.
Well, this is probably more introspective than anyone wants to read, but tough, lol. If you've come this far, then it's just too late, and too bad for you. ;-)
Just kidding. Sort of.
A+
