(no subject)
Jul. 28th, 2006 10:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
falcongrrlIt's been a busy week, but we survived without Dave for four days and he's back from Wisconsin now. He even came back bearing gifts for me--incense and a brass sculpture of dancing Shiva. I love both of them. :-)
Our pagan group's ritual for Lammas is this weekend (as well as![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shaterri's birthday, so pet the foxtaur if you see him around. :-) ). I had a lot of stress last night trying to find something to wear for Saturday, but I think I finally acquitted myself, with a long plum-colored skirt that looks very light and airy. My friend L has a white, gauzy, see-through sort of shirt that I'm going to borrow and wear over a white camisole. I'm not sure about shoes yet--either I'll look for some pretty sandals or go barefoot.
Either way, last night brought up a bunch of issues related to my weight and appearance. Basically, I've lost 20 pounds...which sounds like a lot, and brought me from 202 to 181 1/2, but still makes me cringe in dressing rooms, especially when trying on something that clings or shows curves. I tend to dress both for comfort and camouflage--oversized t-shirts and jeans or shorts being my standard uniform--and go for a slightly-cutely-feminine-but-also-androgynous sort of look. I mean, sometimes I wear Dave's clothes, so make of that what you will. But trying to find something that would make me feel like a goddess, and conjure images of Air and flight and beauty...without going, well, IC...was hard. And it brought up all the limitations of my body and being earthbound.
Still, I know I don't have all that much to complain about. I'm healthy, reasonably speaking. I'm learning how to eat in ways that are better for me, but it's a process, and not one I should expect to have solved overnight. I am beautiful, in my own quirky way...I know that, even as sometimes I forget to remember it. :-)
I've also made great strides in organizing the house, mostly by treating it as an opportunity for mindfulness/spiritual service. I need to get busy on it today though. Today I woke up cranky and tired, and I'm trying to rejuvenate myself in order to be a better parent/housekeeper/wife/friend etc. So far rejuvenation has been taking a little time to read the Gita, listening to new age music, and drinking tons of coffee. We'll see if it works.
Our pagan group's ritual for Lammas is this weekend (as well as
shaterri's birthday, so pet the foxtaur if you see him around. :-) ). I had a lot of stress last night trying to find something to wear for Saturday, but I think I finally acquitted myself, with a long plum-colored skirt that looks very light and airy. My friend L has a white, gauzy, see-through sort of shirt that I'm going to borrow and wear over a white camisole. I'm not sure about shoes yet--either I'll look for some pretty sandals or go barefoot. Either way, last night brought up a bunch of issues related to my weight and appearance. Basically, I've lost 20 pounds...which sounds like a lot, and brought me from 202 to 181 1/2, but still makes me cringe in dressing rooms, especially when trying on something that clings or shows curves. I tend to dress both for comfort and camouflage--oversized t-shirts and jeans or shorts being my standard uniform--and go for a slightly-cutely-feminine-but-also-androgynous sort of look. I mean, sometimes I wear Dave's clothes, so make of that what you will. But trying to find something that would make me feel like a goddess, and conjure images of Air and flight and beauty...without going, well, IC...was hard. And it brought up all the limitations of my body and being earthbound.
Still, I know I don't have all that much to complain about. I'm healthy, reasonably speaking. I'm learning how to eat in ways that are better for me, but it's a process, and not one I should expect to have solved overnight. I am beautiful, in my own quirky way...I know that, even as sometimes I forget to remember it. :-)
I've also made great strides in organizing the house, mostly by treating it as an opportunity for mindfulness/spiritual service. I need to get busy on it today though. Today I woke up cranky and tired, and I'm trying to rejuvenate myself in order to be a better parent/housekeeper/wife/friend etc. So far rejuvenation has been taking a little time to read the Gita, listening to new age music, and drinking tons of coffee. We'll see if it works.