Make New Friends, but Keep the Old

[falcongrrl]

I'm feeling pretty good about some new social opportunities. The UU meeting that I mentioned in another entry went really well. It's something called a "covenant group," which is basically about 5-10 church members getting together to discuss spiritual topics with each other. I describe it as "Bible study" without the Bible, probably somewhat due to my Baptist upbringing.

Anyway, I've been a member of my friend R's "covenant group" for years, seen a lot of people come and go, made a lot of friends that way...but now, I am actually in charge of one, which is different. I was dreading it, actually.

But it worked out well. People laughed together, even cried together. And this was just the first meeting. While a lot depends on the chemistry of the folks involved, I will take a little credit for creating a calm, welcoming, and above all safe space for sharing. I feel really good about how it turned out. Best of all, I like the people in 'my' group. I look forward to getting to know them better.

I'm also navigating the MUCKs a little better, starting to have actual (read: somewhat clever) conversations with folks (other than my rl friend that told me about it), which is nice. Like any chat room, there's a wide variation...sometimes it's mind-numbingly boring and at other times hilariously stimulating...and when wading through the chaff it seems like you'll never get to the kernels of grain, and then, suddenly, inexplicably, it's fun. I guess that's another reason I like online chatting: it never fails to surprise me.

The other thing is that foxmagic and ladymerri and I are talking about getting together for some writing practice and possibly some sort of hot beverages. I'm looking forward to that, both for the prospect of interacting with creative types (something the I2G training gave me a definite appetite for) and for the opportunity to encourage writing in myself and other people. I like the idea of the artistic community that Julia Cameron describes in The Artist's Way, people encouraging each other without competition, realizing that there's room for us all to do incredibly well, and that the world will support us in that...or at the very least, that we can support each other in that.

In addition to ladymerri, have added several new friends to lj, which is definitely cool. :-) i'm looking forward to learning more about all of you...welcome, and thanks.

D also has made a new friend at work, someone who's only on board part-time helping them code for a huge project they're doing, but becoming a good friend nevertheless. And an old friend has come back to work for (insert place of employment here), working closely with him, and she's smart and gets along well with him--both important. D needs people around him that a)know what the hell they're doing and b) aren't annoying pains in the ass. I know, don't we all...but D is the type to help people out endlessly, and so sometimes he ends up working with folks who drain his resources rather than contributing anything. So i'm so glad that this time he is actually getting HELP. At this rate, maybe they'll actually finish the damn project. *grin*





Today I'm going to the beach with some real life mommy friends, assuming I can get my happy ass off the computer and just leave already. I'm looking forward to it. There's AB, who's my sleek cool mommy friend, with dark hair and eyes and an affinity for black, and ATH, who is my sweet grounded mommy friend, with short red hair, fair skin, green eyes. ATH just got a job teaching middle school. I'm torn between wanting to offer advice and not wanting to scare her. ;-)

The night before last I went to my old chatting place online. It was amazingly fun. I hadn't realized how much I missed everyone until I was actually there talking to them, especially a friend who will henceforth be known as GB, who is amazingly funny and smart.

I went back again last night, got a chance to catch up w/a few other folks briefly that i hadn't seen the night before. I love that place. It's like my own private Guys and Dolls, I guess (see previous entry)...that I can access from my own home, at any time. ;-)

I'm torn. Torn between loving being online and knowing that it's unhealthy for me. Torn between thinking it's a fun outlet that helps me hold the rest of my life together and thinking that it's sucking energy away from my "real life" like some kind of virtual vampire, leaving me completely unproductive.

I know this is repetitive ground for those of you who have been reading my journal for a while, but bear with me. (I started to write 'bare with me', lol. If that's you, then you know it already. *big grin*)

Anyway, speaking of CFBs, talked to online friend S for a while yesterday. Both of us are in the same boat...aka chat addicts...although he is further down the path of "i have to stop this" than I am. Some of the things he is going through scare me though, mostly because I can see myself in them (selfish to the core I am), partially because I'm worried about him, don't want him to self-destruct, and am unsure how to help him. I wouldn't know how to help him even if I didn't live across the Atlantic from him, but the fact that I do makes it both harder, and easier.

In an incredibly bad segue (made slightly better by a joke that S and I have, regarding big slobbering dogs, and the less you know the better...), the other old friend that I want to write about is Bonnie. Bonnie is my friend C's dog that we're dogsitting for this week/end. I love Bonnie. I would get a dog myself if I knew it would be a clone of her. She's kind, and wise, and she actually listens to me, a trait that I wish I had in my kids and spouse, frankly. I love her to death, and I'm glad she's spending a few days with us.

We're taking her to the beach with us today. My son, a definite dog person at this stage of his life, is in heaven. And she and Star (our cat) seem to be getting along okay by mutually ignoring each other.

NY friend and I are still maintaining a relative silence for now. It's hard; I miss him. Still not sure what to do on that front.

But I'm trying to focus on moving toward D, who has been incredibly sweet lately. I'm hoping we can stay in loving space...hoping I can get my s*** together enough to stop habits that threaten to undermine us.

Well, that was definitely more than any of you needed to know.



Anyway, the thing to focus on is that it's a glorious day, and I'm headed to the beach to bask in the sun with my friends and enjoy them and their kids. It's good to be me today, I think.

Happy Friday, to everyone.

A+

edit: it rained as soon as we got to the beach, and we had to turn around and come back home. made it back into town just in time to catch rush hour traffic. definitely no sun basking.

maybe it's not so great to be me?