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Apr. 7th, 2006 09:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
falcongrrlI've been feeling really good lately, perhaps even inexplicably so. I had a wonderful trip, marred only by a bit of emotional angst that has since been mostly-resolved. The trip's helped me to deal with my regular life and routine better, given back some essential part of me that I had lost touch with beforehand.
Now my only question is how to convince Dave that I really need trips like this on a more regular basis. I believe that they're not extravagant extras but things that are truly essential to my overall well-being. But I don't know how to articulate that well--what's more, how to believe I deserve it--when money is as tight as it is. Moreover, I was really lucky in that I didn't spend very much at all on the NY trip, thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
beetiger and bard_bloom's immense generosity.
I see a lot of people on my fl struggling emotionally right now in some fundamental way. I understand, empathize, so much. I've been struggling too. I guess the difference is that right now I can truly believe that the internal conflict is worth something, that we're all getting somewhere, even if right now it's difficult to see our way through to where that place might be.
I feel hopeful, and even if that hope is without cause, I'll take it. I feel loving, and even if that love is based upon no real justification, I'll keep feeling and showing it anyway. For what else is there?
All I can do is be who I am, no more, no less. That's all any of us can do.
Sometimes, for brief moments in time, it seems like enough.
Now my only question is how to convince Dave that I really need trips like this on a more regular basis. I believe that they're not extravagant extras but things that are truly essential to my overall well-being. But I don't know how to articulate that well--what's more, how to believe I deserve it--when money is as tight as it is. Moreover, I was really lucky in that I didn't spend very much at all on the NY trip, thanks to
beetiger and bard_bloom's immense generosity.I see a lot of people on my fl struggling emotionally right now in some fundamental way. I understand, empathize, so much. I've been struggling too. I guess the difference is that right now I can truly believe that the internal conflict is worth something, that we're all getting somewhere, even if right now it's difficult to see our way through to where that place might be.
I feel hopeful, and even if that hope is without cause, I'll take it. I feel loving, and even if that love is based upon no real justification, I'll keep feeling and showing it anyway. For what else is there?
All I can do is be who I am, no more, no less. That's all any of us can do.
Sometimes, for brief moments in time, it seems like enough.