Interesting

[falcongrrl]

Last night at pagan group, someone said, "I just don't think that other people will find me interesting. I'm not interesting. I'm boring."

The two other people chimed in.

"Me either," said one.

"I get so intimidated by people who are interesting," said the other. "I don't know what to say to them. I mean, you can ask them questions, get them to tell you about themselves, but that only goes so far."

"I think I'm interesting to a very small group of people," I said. "Like a niche market. I'm one of those cult movies that some people love to watch over and over again, while others have no interest at all."

I'm still thinking about it, though.

I think people, all people, are fascinating. That said, I honestly don't like people all that much. My tendency is to hide in my cave, crotchety, suspicious. There are a few people who can bring me out...but I don't like organizations. I mistrust the way people act in groups. I sometimes feel like an armadillo among squirrels, in terms of how I relate to the rest of the human race.

But I can't think of any single person who has struck me as boring. I might find their writing or conversation boring, or their perspectives tedious in some way...but they themselves? Not boring. Endlessly fascinating, in fact.

So I don't know what criterion makes other people judge someone as interesting or not interesting or why those mental file folders exist.

I have to think about what makes me want to spend time with other people, and that's tough to quantify. Certainly there's a difference between finding someone interesting and liking them. However, there's also a difference between liking someone and wanting to spend time with them. (Note: for me, online time chatting 'counts.' It's just time, period.) So, for me, in terms of friendship: interesting is irrelevant, liking is more important but still not quite enough, and enjoying your company trumps all.

Interesting.

Anyway, if you comment here, I'll tell you why I find you fascinating...because, undoubtedly, I do.

Comments

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

I know very few people that I find more boring than interesting, though even with those few, I like to know what makes them tick and I can usually find something interesting to talk to them about. I'm thinking in particular of a friend of the family and her husband. I was worried when I decided to combine the "kiddie" birthday party with the "adult friend" birthday party for Elizabeth, because it meant that their two sons, and therefore, the two of them, would be in our home at the same time as all our gamer friends. These two are very nice people, but they're very, very mundane.

It turned out that, while they didn't talk much for most of it, my friends did manage to come up with some topics of conversation where they felt comfortable, and the main commentary from the two of them afterwards was, "They're very nice people, but it was like they were talking a different language. I didn't understand a word they said!" (This was probably in relation to nottheterritory's expounding on his idea that Dora the Explorer could be made more interesting by replacing every request for audience help with "Roll d20!" to create the perfect little-kid RPG - and yes, he used the initials. I'd love to go after the licensing for that one.)

Everyone's got a story to tell, and if you can find it and really listen to it, you can understand them. Understanding people makes them interesting on at least a basic level. I'm always wondering what's under the surface. I'm an absolutely normal married mother of two kids. I go to church. I have a job that indicates a certain level of intelligence and education. And yet, I have a lot of stories I could tell that do not fit the picture drawn in those sentences.

[circuit-four.livejournal.com]

People are boring. Any individual person is interesting. I find that as a rule of thumb, people are interesting in direct proportion to how much chance you give them to distinguish themselves from their social contexts. Somebody acting as the living medium of a bureaucracy is going to be dull, but catch them six hours later after a couple of drinks, and they might have something interesting to say... if they're not trying to live out another set of social rules, like courtship and mating algorithms. :p

You don't have to tell me why you're fascinated with me, Sister. I have the reason right here in the palm of my hand... @swirl@

[glashund.livejournal.com]

OK, I must know; in keeping with the usual parameters of my self-image, I consider myself deadly dull. :)

And for reciprocation: As with any of my friends, I find you interesting in many ways, but one that really stands out is that we have enough in common to make me feel comfortable with you, yet where we differ, it's so often in ways that illuminate perspectives quite unlike my own. I rather enjoy such pensive "Huh!" moments.

[balinares.livejournal.com]

Oh, what I really like about you is... how could I put it... Your inner colors? There seems to be so much inside you; things that filters through in your poetry and in the types of things that seem to concern you. I hope we'll get to talk more when RL becomes quieter and I've got a little more time; I realize I don't know you anywhere near as well as you'd deserve.

Speaking of which... I realized that it must not have been obvious at all I was the author of those IM messages while you were AFK the other day, what with my odd screennames; I'm sorry, I should have thought to introduce myself. Hope it didn't spook you much to have some stranger address you like that. :) *hugs!*

[jenny_evergreen]

I know there are people who I am not interested in finding out how they are interesting...which is the closest I get, I suppose, to finding someone boring.

I used to worry all the time that I was boring. I only recently got over it. :P

I'd love to know how you think I'm fascinating. *grin*

[jakebe.livejournal.com]

I personally think that people are their most boring when they're trying to impress other people. What they do when they think no one is watching or listening? Enslessly fascinating.

I wish people would learn to be more natural around other people, you know? Don't try to tell me how smart or assinine or vulnerable you are, just *be* it. I'll pick it up. Trust me. ;)

-J

[amade.livejournal.com]

Usually, everyone has something interesting to talk about, or what-have-you, you just have to find it.

And why, pray tell, do you find me fascinating? ;)

[meepkitty.livejournal.com]

But, you're a heartbreakingly adorable armadillo! :)

[whitecrow0.livejournal.com]

Oh, now, that's not fair. I really can't resist that one. :}

BTW, I find you comforting. I know that you have struggles and troubles, but you still seem grounded. I love hearing about the dogs (even though they get aggravating) and your walks and even about how cold your office is (because I'm always cold at home!)

[birdbard.livejournal.com]

You fascinate me because you are "an armadillo among squirrels..." (I'm still chuckling over that). Your writing inspires me, stops me in my tracks, makes me go "BWAH!" adn then laugh or sigh or...something. Always something. You are brilliant, yet down to Earth. And you care so much it hurts, which is beautiful.

I find most people fascinating, it's people who don't "try", who are scared or stuck or don't take risks, that I find less so. But even they are not boring, they just need to grow.