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cold and warmth
Dec. 15th, 2004 08:26 pmYesterday was a really good day. This in spite of the fact that I officially came down with the cold yesterday.
The cold affects everyone, children and adults alike, though in my family we seem to be avoiding the parallel track. This is in some ways good (being the only one to have it should, in theory anyway, ensure that you can cajole sympathy from at least one other family member at any given time) and in others bad (the total time it takes this coldfromhell to run through our entire household will no doubt be extraordinarily long.)
AB thinks I have the cold because I've been cold. Not in the bitchy way. I've been wearing shorts and a t-shirt the last couple of days, and it was close to fifty degrees outside. Okay, I'm insane. But then, you knew that already. ;-)
Everyone else was in pants and sweaters and jackets and boots and whatever passes for warm clothing in their closets, which here in Florida can make for some interesting clothing combinations. But I actually liked the sensation of being cold. I welcomed it. After months and months of being unbearably fucking hot, a little cold seemed delightfully refreshing, actually.
But now I have the little cold, which is not at all refreshing but, frankly, rather annoying. I tend to scoff at AB's suggestion that being cold has led to having cold, but then, my understanding of science is wonky at best, so who knows.
However, yesterday was still a really good day. I met a friend I haven't seen in a long time (BY) for lunch, and we sat and talked and laughed and regaled each other with funny stories (at least, I hope mine were funny) for three hours. It was great. It made me feel vaguely guilty about all those 'none of my mommy friends understands me' posts. BY gets a lot of it, more than most people. And I can't remember the last time three hours has passed so quickly. (I think we both were a little stunned by that, actually. It's not often your lunch engagement lasts almost until dinnertime, hee.)
After that, I went back to preschool and hung out with AB. This was when she was theorizing the cause of my now vaguely apparent malaise. (The cold hadn't yet reached the coughing hacking hoarse fatigue-ridden place that it would later in the evening, but it was still starting to make its presence visibly known.) We had fun cleaning up the school and just hanging out together. It's what we normally do, but I still enjoyed being with her.
Then, last night was my pagan group. I so did not want to go. At this point I felt completely exhausted. An okay-good tired, but a sick-tired nonetheless. M had posted something about decorating a solstice tree and drinking eggnog, neither of which held any special appeal.
But it did end up being lots and lots of fun. The tree was gorgeous when we finished. Pagan and traditional Christmas ornaments mingled on its branches. We laughed and joked about our separate family Christmas traditions and about the whole process of putting together the tree. Each ornament had a separate story, and we learned some of them.
It was the sort of togetherness that the holiday is supposed to bring but doesn't always. It was the Hallmark vision made real. (Though I don't suppose Hallmark makes sun-face tree lights or goddessy ornaments or a manger scene with the SunGod, The Oak King, and some goddess I can't remember, instead of the Holy Family. No matter.)
It was a welcome change from the alienation I've been feeling and writing about. It was connection. I felt, if not completely one with the rest of the world, at least much much more a part of it than I have been recently.
Online things are good too. Same friends, same cool conversations, less angst surfacing occasionally then at times it is wont to do.
I'm feeling just a touch of the holiday spirit. Just a touch...but much more than I had before. And I'll take it.
A+
The cold affects everyone, children and adults alike, though in my family we seem to be avoiding the parallel track. This is in some ways good (being the only one to have it should, in theory anyway, ensure that you can cajole sympathy from at least one other family member at any given time) and in others bad (the total time it takes this coldfromhell to run through our entire household will no doubt be extraordinarily long.)
AB thinks I have the cold because I've been cold. Not in the bitchy way. I've been wearing shorts and a t-shirt the last couple of days, and it was close to fifty degrees outside. Okay, I'm insane. But then, you knew that already. ;-)
Everyone else was in pants and sweaters and jackets and boots and whatever passes for warm clothing in their closets, which here in Florida can make for some interesting clothing combinations. But I actually liked the sensation of being cold. I welcomed it. After months and months of being unbearably fucking hot, a little cold seemed delightfully refreshing, actually.
But now I have the little cold, which is not at all refreshing but, frankly, rather annoying. I tend to scoff at AB's suggestion that being cold has led to having cold, but then, my understanding of science is wonky at best, so who knows.
However, yesterday was still a really good day. I met a friend I haven't seen in a long time (BY) for lunch, and we sat and talked and laughed and regaled each other with funny stories (at least, I hope mine were funny) for three hours. It was great. It made me feel vaguely guilty about all those 'none of my mommy friends understands me' posts. BY gets a lot of it, more than most people. And I can't remember the last time three hours has passed so quickly. (I think we both were a little stunned by that, actually. It's not often your lunch engagement lasts almost until dinnertime, hee.)
After that, I went back to preschool and hung out with AB. This was when she was theorizing the cause of my now vaguely apparent malaise. (The cold hadn't yet reached the coughing hacking hoarse fatigue-ridden place that it would later in the evening, but it was still starting to make its presence visibly known.) We had fun cleaning up the school and just hanging out together. It's what we normally do, but I still enjoyed being with her.
Then, last night was my pagan group. I so did not want to go. At this point I felt completely exhausted. An okay-good tired, but a sick-tired nonetheless. M had posted something about decorating a solstice tree and drinking eggnog, neither of which held any special appeal.
But it did end up being lots and lots of fun. The tree was gorgeous when we finished. Pagan and traditional Christmas ornaments mingled on its branches. We laughed and joked about our separate family Christmas traditions and about the whole process of putting together the tree. Each ornament had a separate story, and we learned some of them.
It was the sort of togetherness that the holiday is supposed to bring but doesn't always. It was the Hallmark vision made real. (Though I don't suppose Hallmark makes sun-face tree lights or goddessy ornaments or a manger scene with the SunGod, The Oak King, and some goddess I can't remember, instead of the Holy Family. No matter.)
It was a welcome change from the alienation I've been feeling and writing about. It was connection. I felt, if not completely one with the rest of the world, at least much much more a part of it than I have been recently.
Online things are good too. Same friends, same cool conversations, less angst surfacing occasionally then at times it is wont to do.
I'm feeling just a touch of the holiday spirit. Just a touch...but much more than I had before. And I'll take it.
A+
