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Apr. 8th, 2006 11:55 amToday I feel like I'm fighting ennui. I have things planned--a carnival at Daniel's school, housecleaning, dinner with an old friend--but I can't seem to get excited about any of it. I feel as if I'm going through the motions.
I want to do something fun and unusual, something that requires me to use my mind and heart and creativity. I thought maybe we all could play the 1000 blank white cards game tonight, but neither Dave nor my friend Paula seems at all excited by the prospect.
Dave mentioned that his team at work is going on a four day cruise to Mexico. We can't really afford it...and even if we could, I selfishly want more money to go to vacations where I can hang with my friends, none of whom are local. Dave sees his workfriends daily, and that's different.
That said, maybe we should try to save up for it. It would be nice to get away together. Who would watch the kids, though? That's always the question.
I feel like I'm operating from a perspective of there never being enough resources--never enough time, or money--to do the things that I want to do. But what am I doing with the resources I have? I need to spend less time dreaming and more time making my dreams into reality.
Or perhaps I need more time actually dreaming, not daydreaming. I think part, if not all, of my mood issues could be solved with more sleep.
Edit: I had a really fun time at Daniel's school thing, but I think I ate something that made me sick. I now have a terrible stomach and headache, so no socializing tonight. Meh.
I want to do something fun and unusual, something that requires me to use my mind and heart and creativity. I thought maybe we all could play the 1000 blank white cards game tonight, but neither Dave nor my friend Paula seems at all excited by the prospect.
Dave mentioned that his team at work is going on a four day cruise to Mexico. We can't really afford it...and even if we could, I selfishly want more money to go to vacations where I can hang with my friends, none of whom are local. Dave sees his workfriends daily, and that's different.
That said, maybe we should try to save up for it. It would be nice to get away together. Who would watch the kids, though? That's always the question.
I feel like I'm operating from a perspective of there never being enough resources--never enough time, or money--to do the things that I want to do. But what am I doing with the resources I have? I need to spend less time dreaming and more time making my dreams into reality.
Or perhaps I need more time actually dreaming, not daydreaming. I think part, if not all, of my mood issues could be solved with more sleep.
Edit: I had a really fun time at Daniel's school thing, but I think I ate something that made me sick. I now have a terrible stomach and headache, so no socializing tonight. Meh.
