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public service announcement
Jan. 17th, 2009 05:05 amI'm going through a thing.
I don't think it's depression - at least, not the typical clinical variety I'm familiar with, though I guess it could be a variant.
People ask me how I am, and my first thought is to respond with I don't know. I feel slightly overwhelmed by everything, more distracted than usual (which is a scary thought indeed), like everything's coming at me too loudly and insistently and I just need more time to know what to make of it. When the kids are at school, I tend to just hole up inside the house and away from the world. That said, I tend to want to lean kinda heavily on my online friends (as some of you may have noticed). But it's not in the way of wanting to share feelings or intense conversation as much as to check in, to see what's going on with your life. Some of you are touchstones for me; the mere fact that you're there living your lives is comforting.
Yesterday I felt very bitey. I could point to lots of reasons why (wild children off from school, traffic, tiredness), but none of them feels especially accurate.
And that's pretty much the same overall. I know that some of my situational stuff is likely contributing to this feeling, but I can't really suss it out. It may be just an underlying low hum of anxiety more than anything.
I don't mean this post as drama whoring. I just want to explain if I seem weird lately. It's not just you. I am weird lately. Even more so than usual. :-)
I don't think it's depression - at least, not the typical clinical variety I'm familiar with, though I guess it could be a variant.
People ask me how I am, and my first thought is to respond with I don't know. I feel slightly overwhelmed by everything, more distracted than usual (which is a scary thought indeed), like everything's coming at me too loudly and insistently and I just need more time to know what to make of it. When the kids are at school, I tend to just hole up inside the house and away from the world. That said, I tend to want to lean kinda heavily on my online friends (as some of you may have noticed). But it's not in the way of wanting to share feelings or intense conversation as much as to check in, to see what's going on with your life. Some of you are touchstones for me; the mere fact that you're there living your lives is comforting.
Yesterday I felt very bitey. I could point to lots of reasons why (wild children off from school, traffic, tiredness), but none of them feels especially accurate.
And that's pretty much the same overall. I know that some of my situational stuff is likely contributing to this feeling, but I can't really suss it out. It may be just an underlying low hum of anxiety more than anything.
I don't mean this post as drama whoring. I just want to explain if I seem weird lately. It's not just you. I am weird lately. Even more so than usual. :-)