public service announcement

[falcongrrl]

I'm going through a thing.

I don't think it's depression - at least, not the typical clinical variety I'm familiar with, though I guess it could be a variant.

People ask me how I am, and my first thought is to respond with I don't know. I feel slightly overwhelmed by everything, more distracted than usual (which is a scary thought indeed), like everything's coming at me too loudly and insistently and I just need more time to know what to make of it. When the kids are at school, I tend to just hole up inside the house and away from the world. That said, I tend to want to lean kinda heavily on my online friends (as some of you may have noticed). But it's not in the way of wanting to share feelings or intense conversation as much as to check in, to see what's going on with your life. Some of you are touchstones for me; the mere fact that you're there living your lives is comforting.

Yesterday I felt very bitey. I could point to lots of reasons why (wild children off from school, traffic, tiredness), but none of them feels especially accurate.

And that's pretty much the same overall. I know that some of my situational stuff is likely contributing to this feeling, but I can't really suss it out. It may be just an underlying low hum of anxiety more than anything.

I don't mean this post as drama whoring. I just want to explain if I seem weird lately. It's not just you. I am weird lately. Even more so than usual. :-)

Comments

[barberio.livejournal.com]

It might be seasonal depression, 'the winter blues', from not seeing a lot of sunlight, and the weather being so cold. I get the same, and I react by trying to get as much sunlight as I can, daylight bulbs when I can't, and increasing the amount of complex carbs in my diet.

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

The thing is, I live in Florida, so it's not especially dark or cold. Thanks for responding with the thought, though, and I hope you feel better soon. *hugs* And complex carbs are always a good thing.

[barberio.livejournal.com]

Even in the tropics, losing a few hours of daylight, and a small drop in relative temperature, can trigger seasonal depression.

[beautyofgrey.livejournal.com]

I really like your idea of "touchstones". That explains LJ so very well for me.

I feel a lot like you do, lately. I question whether it's depression, but I think it's something inside of me calling me out to slow down and focus on the introspection - I'm trying to use writing and arts to achieve that, but it's only moderately successful

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I really don't think it's depression; I guess that's always the fear for me though.

I start out the week writing but lately by the end of the week I'm doing less and less. I need to get better about that.

[balinares.livejournal.com]

This morning, the birds are back.
It had been a cold few weeks, cold as stone and frost, and pale grey mornings rose silent over a still, icy plain. Nothing moving anywhere.
But over the last week, shy colors slowly returned to the world, with temperatures at last rising slightly over the freezing point.
And this morning, the birds were back, and I woke to them greeting a new, brisk morning and calling out hopefully to each other in their tiny little voices.
The sky: stark winter blue with lingering threads of cotton.
This is a good day to be alive.

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

And you are beautiful. And the world is.

*hugs*

[circuit-four.livejournal.com]

Bitey? o.o

Well, at the risk of sounding selfish... *splays out in front of you, neck bared*

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

>nip!< *grin* Carrots? *bleep?*

[monkeyman.livejournal.com]

*hugs you very hard* I'm sending my thoughts, and hopefully we can chat later. I love you.

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Love you too. It's not *bad* like dropping down into darkness, just kind of anxious and overwhelmed and weird. I'm actually wondering if I should get thyroid levels checked as I'm pretty low-energy too.