update

[falcongrrl]

Here are a couple of things that have struck me as really funny lately: http://www.spamusement.com/ (thanks foxmagic!)
http://www.geocities.com/soho/coffeehouse/8321/shelbagpipe_poem.html
http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2652831 (This is the Jon Stewart on Crossfire clip that probably everyone's seen now, but I post it just in case anyone hasn't.)

And I just read a comment that said that the Silverstein poem was sad! Huh?! Perhaps I'm deranged (that's a rhetorical phrase, mind you), but I was reading it to the five-year-old last night before just bedtime, and was laughing so hard I was literally crying. Even this morning, just the word "aaooga" was enough to cause both of us to giggle nonstop.

I'm feeling better. I went to see the doctor this morning. I have decided that even though philosophically I agree with Eastern medicine's lifestyle change approach, I have to stay with the Western stuff (read: SSRIs) for now. Bouncing on and off my meds has been terrible for my mental health. So, I'm going to work on using my pill reminder to make sure I actually TAKE the meds, exercising more, taking vitamins...but not tapering down. Tapering down is bad very bad. I was sitting in the examination room, looking at the big poster advertising "Symptoms for Depression and Anxiety" and the lightbulb went on in a big way, once I saw I had like eight out of ten of them. Trying to go off the meds, while good from a philosophical perspective, is fucking horrendous from a mental well-being perspective. So, I'm back on...maybe for the long haul.

I know that the pharmaceutical companies put out those posters, and that one could argue that they do so in order to get 'fresh meat' 'new recruits.' It's sort of a conflict between the idealist me and the pragmatic me. The idealist me says that I'm part of the 'system' that just sticks heavy duty drugs on problems as a 'band-aid' without addressing the lifestyle issues underneath. The pragmatic me says that the Western chemicals work, by god, so why would you want to f*** with results? Right now the 'pragmatic' me is winning...

Anyway...I didn't mean to go on about my mental health like that, but I also didn't want anyone to worry after my last entry. When I find myself falling into the black hole, I tend to have the wherewithal to claw myself back out, the strength to recognize I need help and ask for it. I think that's a good thing. :-)

And if you've read this far, I have another little extra something for your pleasure...cheesy song lyrics!! :-D Hope you like them.

All that you have is your soul
Tracy Chapman

Oh my mama told me
'Cause she say she learned the hard way
Say she wanna spare the children
She say don't give or sell your soul away
'Cause all that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit
Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth
'Cause all that you have is your soul

I was a pretty young girl once
I had dreams I had high hopes
I married a man he stole my heart away
He gave his love but what a high price I paid
And all that you have is your soul

Why was I such a young fool
Thought I'd make history
Making babies was the best I could do
Thought I'd made something that could be mine forever
Found out the hard way one can't possess another
And all that you have is your soul

I thought thought that I could find a way
To beat the system
To make a deal and have no debts to pay
I'd take it all take it all I'd run away
Me for myself first class and first rate
But all that you have is your soul

Here I am waiting for a better day
A second chance
A little luck to come my way
A hope to dream a hope that I can sleep again
And wake in the world with a clear conscience and clean hands
'Cause all that you have is your soul

All that you have
All that you have
All that you have
Is your soul.



That says it all, really. Doesn't it?

A+