the state of the falcon

[falcongrrl]

I wrote a long post yesterday and LJ promptly ate it - which was frustrating, as I thought I'd really figured some things out that were subsequently forgotten. Also, it was a post with actual substance.

Anyway, it's likely too late to have anything similar tonight... :-)

NaPoeWriMo is coming along, though I haven't written a poem yet today (in the loosest sense of the word, as it's after midnight already) and I probably won't. But I'm still planning on making it to my goal of 30 poems.

Also this week I had an old ex-boyfriend from high school contact me. We exchanged several emails, mine pretty casual, his escalating in intensity until I think I made it pretty clear that I was, well, happy with my life - and then his stopped rather abruptly.

I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm both happy that I managed to clarify my boundaries in a friendly way and a bit disappointed in the whole exchange becoming less friendly and more (from my perspective) creepy than I wanted. It brought back a lot of memories from high school, some good, others bad. Trying to make sense of them, to process that baggage, has been interesting.

Also interesting (in the Chinese sense?) has been emotionally preparing for the con. One minute I'm excited beyond belief, convinced I'll have a wonderful time; and the next I'm equally convinced that none of my friends will have anything to do with me and I'll end up holed up alone in my hotel room. At this point, I'm thinking that if nothing else materializes and if the con's a total bust I'll take public transportation to SF. This is probably not going to happen, mind - I just like having options.

Today I went to the doctor's too for an annual exam/pap/physical. I found out what's been bothering me physically. The bulk of the abdominal pain is from IBS, and she gave me some ideas for how to handle that. But the big surprise, for both me and for my doctor, was that my IUD had become dislodged and moved down into my cervix, which was cramping and trying to expel it without success. D'uh - I guess that's why I wasn't feeling so great in general down there. Anyway, she removed it and immediately I felt this relaxation happen. There was also some bleeding from my poor cervix, and another pap needed to be done, and then the pelvic exam. I had some pain during the pelvic exam, which led to me having to go to the hospital for an ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries.

So...it was a crazy day, and i'm still waiting to hear the results of the ultrasound. The big fear is that I have an ectopic pregnancy (that's the possibility the doctor seemed most concerned about, and why she ordered the ultrasound). I'm hoping for the best though - and I think the IBS and the IUD problem were the big things to have diagnosed and addressed. Well, that, and the fact that now I need another form of birth control. I'm most likely going on the pill at the start of my next cycle.

Sorry if all that was tmi.



I'm headed for bed soon. Just wanted to check in and let everyone here know that I'm still alive and stuff. More later, as I get time, if LJ doesn't consume all of my words again.

Comments

[monkeyman.livejournal.com]

Good to hear from you. *hugs*

And yeah, I've been having that problem with LJ too -- it's getting kind of frustrating.

[gleefulfreak.livejournal.com]

Ouch on the IBS and IUD - glad you're in less pain now! I am sending you good vibes and hope that the ultrasound will not show anything out of the ordinary.

Yeah, it's weird when someone contacts you and you want to have a nice friendly conversation with them, but they get upset and/or cut off contact when they discover that you aren't prepared to relate to them on the level they want. It's like, did I do something wrong? But no, I didn't do something wrong, I was clear and up front, and I can't take responsibility for how they may react. Still, though, it pushes the buttons a bit.

*hug*

[mehndi-chick.livejournal.com]

It's always disconcerting for me to have people from my initmate past re-appear. Mixed emotions, for sure.

And *YIKES* on the IUD! Thank God it was caught!

[virtualcourtney.livejournal.com]

"LiveJournal: why eat your words, when we'll do it for you?"

Eeek on the IUD front! That sounds seriously uncomfortable, rivaled only, perhaps, by a blast from the past insistent on becoming the present.

You'll have a great time at the con. :)

[beautyofgrey.livejournal.com]

Wow, I'm glad that you at least figured out some of your discomfort. That's always one of my fears, given how I love my IUD. I hope that everything else comes out clear - I'll be thinking of you. *hugs*

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

I <3 your icon here. :-)