falcongrrl

(For the purposes of this entry, writing in all caps = speaking in a robot voice.)

***

Me: (something parental, in the car)

Daniel (in regular tones): I can't hear you. You know, if you really want me to hear you, you have to talk in a robot accent. Because I'm a robot. I can only hear robot-like speech.

Me (snarkily): Maybe I don't want you to hear me. Maybe I just enjoy talking to myself.

Daniel: You know, if you really want me to hear you, you'll speak in robot speech, because I can't hear regular human speech.

Me (acquiescing): YOU'RE NOT EVEN SPEAKING LIKE A ROBOT YOURSELF.

Daniel: That's because I have my human speech program turned on.

Me: YOUR PROGRAMMER GAVE THE CAPACITY TO SPEAK LIKE A HUMAN BUT NOT THE ABILITY TO UNDERSTAND HUMAN SPEECH? THAT'S PRETTY STUPID.

Daniel: What?! I'm not stupid. You're calling me stupid!?

Me: I'M CALLING YOUR PROGRAMMER STUPID. NOT CREATING A PROGRAM FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND HUMAN SPEECH IS STUPID.

Daniel: My programmer gave me thousands of weapons...guns...nuclear weapons...and you're saying my programmer is stupid?

Me: YOUR PROGRAMMER GAVE YOU NUCLEAR WEAPONS WITHOUT THE CAPABILITY TO UNDERSTAND THE HUMANS TELLING YOU WHEN AND WHERE TO USE THEM? THAT'S EVEN MORE STUPID.

Daniel: Well, actually I do have something like a human eardrum that allows me to hear human speech.

Me: YOU'VE HAD A HUMAN EARDRUM THIS WHOLE TIME AND YOU DID NOT ACTIVATE IT? MAYBE YOU ARE THE STUPID ONE, NOT YOUR PROGRAMMER.

Daniel: Hel-lo! Thousands of weapons here!!

Me: *dissolves in laughter, giving Daniel a high-five*

***

I have to say, if he outthinks me this easily at seven, I'm in for a rough time of it. But then, you all knew that, didn't you?