a couple of good things

[falcongrrl]

I just finally tried the French press I got from IKEA over the summer for making coffee (I had used it for tea before). Wow! I can see why people prefer it to auto-drip. Not only does it work better for smaller amounts of coffee, but it tastes a lot smoother and less acidic. I feel like I can drink less coffee this way but enjoy it more (not that I would've thought such a thing possible before, heh). I was worried about the quality of my grind (the site I checked for brew time went on about how that's really important) but I dunno, it tastes okay to me, and it was pretty easy to not pour 'sludge' by just avoiding that last little bit at the bottom.

***

Yesterday I took both of my kids, an acquaintance's kid, and the dog to the park. Yes, I'm insane. :-) It was hot, but the worst of the summer highs seem to be tapering off a little - think close to ninety F versus ninety-five+.

Anyway, I was talking with a woman about Australian shepherds, and Daniel and Ellie started squabbling over who got to walk the dog. Daniel got mad at me when I stepped in to arbitrate, and so I called him over to me and had him sit down. I described his behavior objectively*, explained my thoughts on how things would work after he calmed down, asked him if he thought that was fair. He agreed it was, we chatted a little, and then I went back to talking to the woman.

Later, after Daniel had taken off, the lady confided in me. "My son is kind of aggressive sometimes, like your son," she said. "I always end up getting furious with him and snapping and saying the wrong thing. My whole family's like that. But you handled it really well."

I thanked her and mumbled something about how, you know, today was a good day, and not all days are like that.

And she said something about how I seemed really patient, and good with kids...that she could just tell...and that really, I should be nominated for sainthood.

The thing is - I know she caught us on a good day. I have been reading Becky Bailey's Conscious Discipline Strategies, Siblings Without Rivalry, etc. etc. But those techniques go horribly wrong for me about as often, if not more often, as they go right. To say nothing of when I forget to use them or use them incorrectly.

So I don't mean this as, 'oh wow, look what a great parent I am.' 'Cause everyone who's reading this should know better. :-D

But, dude, a woman in the park complimented me on my parenting skills! This kind of thing never ever happens! To, umm, anyone...but definitely not to me with my wild rambunctious kids.

So I had to record it here for posterity.

In summation:

1)Sometimes discipline techniques do work, though I think it has something to do with the precise geographical location, phase of the moon, positioning of the sun, and otherstuff I haven't figured out yet.
2)Sometimes a total stranger will do/say something really, really nice to make your day.
3)There is good in the world. There is. There is.



*The idea is that instead of judging the behavior "I can't believe you're being so rude and disrespectful! Sit down here right now!" you describe it "You just yelled at me, and now you're kicking the bench. Wow, you seem really upset (angry, whatever)! Sit down next to me and let's talk about it." I'm pretty sure this comes from Faber and Mazlish, not Bailey.

Comments

[birdbard.livejournal.com]

Mmm, COFE press! ME love me COFE press!

You know, there are people who never even consider changing their angry dynamics with their kids. "Kids should listen, I'm the parent! Why change?" The fact that you are even thinking about it, working on it, and making it work sometimes, is huge. And what a blessed moment, when someone outside your circle looks in and says "Wow, that really worked. Maybe I could..."

You, my Dear, are being the change. COOL!! ;^)

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

We have a french press at home, which we use for tea. I think I need to get one for work. I'd probably drink a lot more tea and a lot less soda.

[shaterri.livejournal.com]

Actually, my work recommendation would be a tea ball -- if only because they're a little more convenient (easy to clean) than a press is, you only get one vessel dirty. Or, for the ultimate extension of that, get unfilled tea bags and 'roll your own'.

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

I have a tea ball at work right now, but I actually find it far less convenient. I much prefer the press that I have at home.

[monkeyman.livejournal.com]

Hey, I say that about your parenting skills all the time. ;)

[shaterri.livejournal.com]

You rock. :-) My one tiny suggestion -- keep this in your mind for the next time he acts up, less on the notion that you can get him to do it again than just on the thought that wow, he really can be reasonable sometimes. A moment's balance, if you will. But mostly, just bask in the fact of rocking. *grin*

And you know, I've never actually used our french press to make coffee? I've only used it for tea myself. One of these days I really ought to try it...

[koogrr.livejournal.com]

Wow, still very well handled.

Bleah... I could have used a bunch of those skills.

[sythyry.livejournal.com]

Yay!

(We get compliments on Rhys sometimes. Generally from the child-free, who say things like "Wow, Rhys is so cool that he's almost as good as not having children around!")

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Somehow I don't think the childfree folks would ever say that about my kids, though. @.@ Maybe circuit_four would.

[rowyn]

I haven't seen much of your kids (I think just for one Saturday) but my impression of them was good. Pleasant and likable. :)

I like the discipline strategy you employed. Does that work on adults? O:)