Shooters, Healers, and Dreamers
May. 7th, 2004 10:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
falcongrrlA few days ago I was having a conversation with my son about his superpowers...
"What kind of powers do I have?" he asked me.
"I think you have to decide that for yourself." I answer. "I don't think anyone else can tell you what your powers are."
He thinks about it for a while, and says, "I have guns in my arms."
Umm...okay. Not exactly the response I was hoping for.
"Honey, there are LOTS of different powers. I mean, you could fly, or be a healer, or change shapes. Wouldn't one of those be cool?"
"What's a healer?" he says. Ah, now we're getting somewhere. My son, the doctor.
"A healer can make anyone feel better when they're sick or dying." I say.
"So, a healer helps to solve people's problems?"
"Yes." Okay, amend that to, my son, the psychologist.
He pauses, as if thinking this over, weighing it carefully. His eyes meet mine.
"Mommy," he says, "I think I'm really a shooter."
Deep breath. Okay, I'm a pacifist, and I've given birth to Rambo. No problem.
A few days later (yesterday in fact), we decide to tackle the issue again, this time a little more stridently.
"I have guns in my arms and I can shoot anyone!" he announces.
"Yeah, well, I'm a healer and I can heal anyone you shoot!" I retort.
(Note: Do not get into an argument with a four-year-old. You will inevitably end up feeling silly.)
"No, because my guns have MAGIC BULLETS, and you can't heal anyone that's shot with a MAGIC BULLET."
"Yes I can, because I have magic hands, and my healing hands are stronger than your magic bullets."
"Why?"
"Because HEALING is stronger than HURTING." I pause, letting the weight of my words sink in. "Everyone knows that."
"But," my son sputters out in the frustrated way of the misunderstood. "But but but....I only shoot BAD GUYS!!!!!"
Now I'm feeling like a bad parent, attributing all the worst qualities I see in society, or myself for that matter, to my son.
How can I blame him for wanting to be a hero? Luke Skywalker, Bilbo Baggins, Jack Sparrow, Ninja Turtles, Buzz Lightyear, Shrek...none of them are exactly pacifists. All of them use force. And I could limit the shows he watches...but I can't change the entire cultural climate singlehandedly. And I have to admit that I like the neatness, the beauty of good vs. evil. I just have thrown it aside as a philosophy that defines "real life" (whatever that is).
How do I explain to my son that "good guys" and "bad guys" are all relative? Look at the Crusades, where the Christians (good guys) fought the Moorish infidels (bad guys). Or wait, was that the war where the Christians (bad guys) went in an invaded a people for no reason other than their own religious policies, slaughtering and then taking land from people whose crime was being different from them (good guys)?
And most wars, in most times, have the same issues. Okay, everyone agrees that Hitler was a monster. But was it right for Churchill Stalin and Roosevelt to chop up Europe and hand it over part and parcel to different "powers"? Aren't we reaping some of the results from that even today?
I don't want to think about war and history anymore; it gives me a headache.
My son, during my silence has been occupied with his own thoughts. He turns to me.
"Mommy, if I kill any good guys by accident, then you can heal them for me, okay?"
He smiles.
One day I'll tell him that "violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." For now, it's a compromise, and I guess I'll take it.
Perhaps one day I'll succeed in changing the world. For now, I'll continue to dream.
A+
"What kind of powers do I have?" he asked me.
"I think you have to decide that for yourself." I answer. "I don't think anyone else can tell you what your powers are."
He thinks about it for a while, and says, "I have guns in my arms."
Umm...okay. Not exactly the response I was hoping for.
"Honey, there are LOTS of different powers. I mean, you could fly, or be a healer, or change shapes. Wouldn't one of those be cool?"
"What's a healer?" he says. Ah, now we're getting somewhere. My son, the doctor.
"A healer can make anyone feel better when they're sick or dying." I say.
"So, a healer helps to solve people's problems?"
"Yes." Okay, amend that to, my son, the psychologist.
He pauses, as if thinking this over, weighing it carefully. His eyes meet mine.
"Mommy," he says, "I think I'm really a shooter."
Deep breath. Okay, I'm a pacifist, and I've given birth to Rambo. No problem.
A few days later (yesterday in fact), we decide to tackle the issue again, this time a little more stridently.
"I have guns in my arms and I can shoot anyone!" he announces.
"Yeah, well, I'm a healer and I can heal anyone you shoot!" I retort.
(Note: Do not get into an argument with a four-year-old. You will inevitably end up feeling silly.)
"No, because my guns have MAGIC BULLETS, and you can't heal anyone that's shot with a MAGIC BULLET."
"Yes I can, because I have magic hands, and my healing hands are stronger than your magic bullets."
"Why?"
"Because HEALING is stronger than HURTING." I pause, letting the weight of my words sink in. "Everyone knows that."
"But," my son sputters out in the frustrated way of the misunderstood. "But but but....I only shoot BAD GUYS!!!!!"
Now I'm feeling like a bad parent, attributing all the worst qualities I see in society, or myself for that matter, to my son.
How can I blame him for wanting to be a hero? Luke Skywalker, Bilbo Baggins, Jack Sparrow, Ninja Turtles, Buzz Lightyear, Shrek...none of them are exactly pacifists. All of them use force. And I could limit the shows he watches...but I can't change the entire cultural climate singlehandedly. And I have to admit that I like the neatness, the beauty of good vs. evil. I just have thrown it aside as a philosophy that defines "real life" (whatever that is).
How do I explain to my son that "good guys" and "bad guys" are all relative? Look at the Crusades, where the Christians (good guys) fought the Moorish infidels (bad guys). Or wait, was that the war where the Christians (bad guys) went in an invaded a people for no reason other than their own religious policies, slaughtering and then taking land from people whose crime was being different from them (good guys)?
And most wars, in most times, have the same issues. Okay, everyone agrees that Hitler was a monster. But was it right for Churchill Stalin and Roosevelt to chop up Europe and hand it over part and parcel to different "powers"? Aren't we reaping some of the results from that even today?
I don't want to think about war and history anymore; it gives me a headache.
My son, during my silence has been occupied with his own thoughts. He turns to me.
"Mommy, if I kill any good guys by accident, then you can heal them for me, okay?"
He smiles.
One day I'll tell him that "violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." For now, it's a compromise, and I guess I'll take it.
Perhaps one day I'll succeed in changing the world. For now, I'll continue to dream.
A+