more on drive-by IMs

[falcongrrl]

The feeling internally is as if the person walked up to me and said something along the lines of, "Hi, I'm $name, and I'm going to be your punching bag for the day. Feel free to be as snide and intellectually superior as you like. I have no business contacting you, and thus you are not responsible at all for how you treat me. C'mon, I know you have some aggression you'd really like to get out right now. Go for it. Hit me with your best shot. And because I contacted you, feel free to publicize my idiocy to all of your friends so they can get a good laugh too, and see how smart you are."

It's...mmmm...tempting in a way of appealing to the very worst side of my nature, and it's hard for me to turn away from it. But inside, during and afterwards, I do feel icky. And there's a small part of me saying, "Don't do this. Stop, please, just stop."

So obviously I have issues around this. I've blocked anyone not on my contact list, for now, and actually I have yahoo set not to automatically log-on when I start up Trillian. (Apologies to those of you I connect with in that way.) But it's mostly not them I'm battling, but my own emotional responses to them. I can't politely just say go away, and that's something I don't understand. 'Cause my own thing I'm doing is as futile as theirs, if not more so.

Comments

[gleefulfreak.livejournal.com]

If the shoe were on the other foot, and I were randomly approaching someone I found likable and interesting, I know I would feel stung if someone just told me flat out "I don't really want to talk to you, but I have no ill will."

Ok, but this isn't a case of approaching someone you find likeable and interesting. This, as far as I understand the situation in question, is a case of a person randomly approaching someone they have no clue about, probably just based on their gender and age.

I hope it's clear that I'm not advocating saying "I don't really want to talk to you" to someone who genuinely makes an effort to connect with someone likeable and interesting. That's another scenario entirely, in my mind.

Nor do I mean to suggest that someone should be written off as a creep just because I don't want to interact with them right now. I do feel that there is an important difference between the person and the action. While I may find the act to be thoughtless or intrusive, that doesn't mean I think the person is thoughtless or intrusive. Only that right now they are acting that way, and the frame of mind causing them to act that way is one with which it won't do much good for me to try to engage. Maybe tomorrow they will stop it and engage more fully and honestly with the world and become a dear friend.

[ladyperegrine.livejournal.com]

*nods* While I really enjoyed jakebe's comments, I agree with gleefulfreak that the two situations are different (and this was someone approaching me based upon info in my profile at best, which is basically age/gender/I'm happily married, at least if I remember correctly).

I think the main thing, for me, is that the request for a picture was a huge trigger that just pissed me right off, and I'm not sure why. I did think the person was thoughtless, intrusive, and worthy of being a target at that point. And I think that says more about issues I need to work on than about the random person.